Most of us have seen those ridiculously over the top slap stick holiday movies featuring Chevy Chase and his neurotically abnormal family members. It is with a combination of bitter remorse and bewildered amusement I must admit those movies evoke all too accurately the daily operations of my own crazy family.
This Thanksgiving the insanity erupted in a last minute volcano of vacation mayhem as we rushed to get on the road in time to beat the atrocious snowy weather pelting the northeast on one of the busiest travel days of the year.
Having neglected to vet Shaggy, my grandma's enormous Old English Sheepdog, we couldn't kennel him anywhere. We had no choice but to make space for him in the back of the station wagon and haul him along with us for the six hour drive to our relative's house. Have you ever tried to fall asleep while a slimy dog tongue exuding a strong fishy stench drools saliva on your shoulder? It's a fun challenge. Not only was Shaggy basking in his normal dirty dog aromas, he'd also snatched a juicy Burger King cheeseburger my grandma had left too close to the edge of the counter earlier that day. Between the existing smells and the threat of a dog diarrhea explosion, the car ride was a little tense.
Oh and the looming threat of blizzard conditions and icy roads didn't help the tension. Despite repeated travel advisory warnings, my family was dead set on making the half day drive through the snow and ice. As we nervously rolled past eighteen wheelers veering dangerously close to our car, I was envisioning a perfectly browned, juicy turkey floating in front of a distinctly pearly gate.
Despite the obvious danger, there were also the haphazardly packed bags crammed between my sister and I in the back seat. The precariously perched glass bowl of gluten free stuffing threatened to crash to the floor and ruin the pathetic mush my sister insisted on having. But there's really nothing like a glass dish of stuffing periodically rolling into your lap to get you excited for the Thanksgiving feast.
Luckily we made it to the relative's house unscathed and stuffing intact, and it wasn't until the next morning that Shaggy's cheeseburger bender came back to bite him in the you know what.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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