Ever wondered how to dissect a 65-ton marine mammal? Look no further than the New York Times to give you step-by-step instructions. Back in early February I grabbed a copy of the paper on my way down to the dining hall for breakfast. Little did I know that possibly the funniest diagram I have ever seen would be waiting for me between those crisp, gray pages. After reading a fascinating article about a researcher who has dissected countless whale species, my attention was diverted to a sidebar next to the article. For all of those do-it-yourselfers out there, the New York Times assembled a step-by-step instruction guide for the standard procedure of whale dissection.
My favorite instruction: "...step into the whale to extract it's inner organs" ...Wait a minute... Are we on planet Hoth? Is this whale being mistaken for a ton-ton? No, it's just a freaking enormous specimen. Thank goodness we didn't have to worry about dissecting one of these in biology lab. I remember having to go pick up my fetal pig back in freshman year. Imagine if every freshman had to go pick up their own whale specimen. I am just picturing hordes of freshmen trying to drag a stinking whale carcass across campus.
So next weekend when you head to the beach and happen upon a beached whale, you will be totally equipped to do your own scientific research. Just remember to bring the backhoe
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