Naughty Shaggy Dog

My grandma's old english sheep dog is a nut case. He's super hyper and really good at herding. I know this because if I stop too suddenly walking anywhere at Grandma's house, I'm sure to get a wet nose jammed up my butt. It's hard to be annoyed when all he wants to do is be right next to me all the time. He is the snuggliest, sweetest dog, and even though he's a heavy breather who won't let me nap on the cough without a big slobbery lick across my face, we are buddies.

That WAS until he ruined Friday night dinner.

Shaggy has a reputation for stealing food off the counter, but only if we are foolish enough to leave it out when we leave the house. Last Friday I had marinated six chicken breasts and left them in a dish on the counter. Afterwards I decided to snuggle with Shaggy in the living room. After scratching his ears and rubbing his belly, I went to sit on the couch to relax. No sooner had I plopped onto the squishy leather cushion did I hear a strange crunching coming from the kitchen. I knew Shaggy's food bowl was empty, so I could only guess what he was chomping on as I entered the kitchen. He was standing right next to the counter, and as I peered into the bowl of chicken, I immediately realized the feat he had accomplished. Without knocking the ceramic bowl to the ground, Shaggy managed to snipe three chicken breasts from the bowl with his apparently dexterous jaws. There were a few splotches of teriyaki splattered on the counter before I wiped it clean, but other than that he left no mess. Well, except for his white fur that was now exuding a very strong teriyaki scent.

His astounding accomplishment almost made it difficult to be angry. I was also quite stunned by his bold move, knowing I was sitting in the adjacent room. I was forced to throw out the other three pieces, unsure of what dog germs may have contaminated the meat. As I cleaned the counter and washed the ceramic bowl, I could hear Shaggy licking his sauce-stained fur, trying to savor every last drop of teriyaki dripping down his fuzzy beard and chest. The sound made me angry because he was still enjoying his victory as I cleaned up after him, lamenting the loss of three perfectly good chicken breasts.

Contaminated chicken

"I didn't know teriyaki was so good
but then I ate that chicken
and now I know ..."