Today it Hurts

It has been twelve days since my Papa's passing. This morning I lay in bed under a cozy pile of blankets after getting off the phone with my Grandma. We talked about Papa, and Grandma was telling me how much she missed him. Once I hung up and her calm, soothing words faded away, my head was replaced with memories of Papa. A wave of emotion crashed over me as I realized how much I miss Papa too. I quickly looked around the room for something of my Papa's that I could snuggle with. A shot glass from the U.S. Naval Academy? A suede fedora? A pocket knife? None of these items are particularly cozy objects to hold close.

I haven't tried to ignore my emotions. I have wondered why I haven't been crying as much as I thought I would. Today is a Saturday, and it is honestly the first day I have had nothing to do. As soon as my Papa passed, I have been so busy spending time with family and moving back to school, that my mind hasn't been afforded the opportunity to truly grieve. Well, today the tears keep coming, so I put on the Frank Sinatra music station on my computer, and I have a box of tissues by my bed. Today I am remembering my Papa, and if he were here with me, he'd be singing along to the music.